Green …

’Tis the day for wearin’ ‘o’ the green. A day in which there is no discrimination. Black, red, yellow, white; at the bottom of four or five pitchers of green beer, everybody turns green.

St. Patrick’s Day is meant for fun. Sometimes too much fun. Take me, for instance; I have been know to go a wee bit too Irish. My reputation for jokes, tricks and mischief would challenge a leprechaun. My idea of the gold at the end of a rainbow is the look of “I’ll get even someday” on the face of a friend who has just fallen for a practical joke. I like gluing a plastic coachroach to the inside of a mug and waiting for my victim to finish their drink. Boy, do they turn green.

St. Patty’s Day was named after the guy who said, “Get your stinkin’ patties off of my drink!” No, really, it was named after Saint Patrick of Ireland. He is supposed to have gotten rid of all the snakes in that country. Some, like PBS, wish he would do that with the legislature.

Those who don’t wear green are often a type of green – they are green with envy. We have much to thank the Irish for. They gave us one really different cup of coffee. They gave us the three-leaf clover. Still, some of us just can’t be satisfied, in that some people will spend all day looking for a four-leaf clover instead of putting in a day’s work. Even John Wayne liked the Irish in “The Quiet Man.”

We should learn a historical lesson from the Irish. The Irish were some of the first people to put their country’s dependence on one item. America now is dependent on oil; the Irish were dependent on potatoes. When the devastating potato famine hit, the Irish came over to the United States to the point that there are now more Irish descendants in America than Irish in Ireland. Similarly, when we run out of oil, maybe we can immigrate to the Middle East.

We are culturally enriched by the Land of Eire. Their music is enchanting. We enjoy watching dancers who keep a pounding rhythm. The Lord of the Dance and the Riverdance troupes rival the Matadors of Spain, the ‘dirty dancing’ of Latin America, the break-dancing of the inner cities, the jitterbug of the midwest, and grandpa gyrating while trying to stay standing on an ice-covered sidewalk.

Green is great. In America we have green beer, greenbacks, the Emerald City, the Hulk, Kermit and the underside of a bun at a really bad restaurant. “I’m in the green” means we have some money. “Green with envy” means we want something we don’t have. Envy is when you are facing that “green-eyed monster” (no not your ex-wife).

Wear green. Pin a shamrock on your shirt. Better yet, pin a button on your shirt or blouse that states, “Kiss me, I’m Irish.” Go ahead and tip one for St. Paddy. Watch a St. Patrick’s Day parade. Go ahead and attempt an Irish accent along with everybody else. Enjoy the day.

But remember, the Irish are also known for their red hair, quick and hot tempers, and their red-eyed morning afters.